Envy

You never really think of envy earning its spot on the list of the seven deadlies - it can’t be that bad, you think in the dark as you scroll through other people’s successes, wishing they were yours, spiraling down into depression because you aren’t publishing enough or at the right places or writing that novel or getting your books published or have a big enough following. You try to shake yourself free from its grasp, but it’s tenacious, it’s barbed, it doesn’t want to let go and sometimes you don’t want it to either.

I am constantly battling my envious impulses. Some days are better than others. I think sometimes envy likes to dance the tango with imposter syndrome and tear their spiky heels into my brain and heart. All the mixed metaphors aside, sometimes it’s good to confront these stupid feelings and thoughts so that they don’t derail the reality - which is I AM WRITING - I AM PUBLISHING - I AM NOT AN IMPOSTER - and finally, my journey is not everyone else’s and it doesn’t have to be - so envy can go eff itself (and imposter syndrome can go join it).

I am celebrating two acceptances this week! I am still on hiatus from the ukulele. I think those daily videos about killed me. I should have my first art commission with Flash Frog out soon! And I think my FlashNano Novella in Flash is doing well…? So yay for another week!