last day of school and what do I do blues

It’s a struggle for me to write every day. Sometimes I think I create more stress for myself, always insisting that in order to be a writer, I need to be writing every frickin’ day. But I just can’t. Which brings me to my usual problem of having free time but not having the right mindset to write.

Today is the last day of school for the Japanese school year, so after our closing ceremony and morning assembly, I have a ton of free time. And what do I do with my glorious freedom? I hop onto facebook or pinterest and scroll myself into oblivion.

And yet, underneath it all, I am deriding myself, hounding and mentally bashing my poor psyche. It’s a wonderful roller coaster ride of elation at having free time and guilt tripping myself into depression because I’d rather be on the nets, falling down rabbit holes, then actually writing about them.

So, here I am writing this – does it count? I think maybe it does because writing about your process, or lack thereof, is still as important as the actual writing.

I have another week of these days filled with free time and I can only hope that within those hours, my brain will decide that yes today is the day I will finish a story (I am actually trying to complete two at the moment) or work on a new one.