Oh crippling self-doubt…how I hate you

and myself.

I can go weeks before I am blindsided by this particular doozy of an emotion. It always leaves me seeking the comfort of booze, cave-like interiors, and mind-numbing entertainment.

Since I started actively trying to get published, there have been many rejections. At first, these would feed my self-doubt, even after I had my first couple of publications. Now, it’s not so bad. I think I even hit about 100 rejections recently without major depression.

The thing that’s getting me now, when it comes to my writing, is whether or not I am a one-trick pony. Can I write anything other than what I have written? Can I even step out of my particular writing bubble? I would like to hope that I can and that I am. And yet, that feeling is always there underneath it all just waiting to fill the crevices of my mind vulnerable to it.

I know everyone struggles with it. It’s not anything new. I just wish sometimes it would not even be a problem I know that some self-doubt is good for you. It makes you re-evaluate yourself, hopefully, for the better. I just don’t need it to be mucking up my brain all the time.

but yeah…self-doubt can kiss my ass…