It’s windy today. This is not a surprise. I live in a prefecture famous for its wind, so much so that they have a saying for it: “karakaze,” or a dry wind. Of course, that’s usually in fall and winter, not now, in the start of summer. A summer I’m afraid will be unbearably hot and humid…and most likely windy.

I am watching my students jump rope. Entire classes lined up in pairs, jumping in sync, counting, the wind and their sneakers kicking up the dust of the schoolyard. They are preparing for their annual sports festival day. I find it comforting and surreal.

It’s a weird kind of day for me. I have big plans this weekend. I’m heading to Shuzenji on the Izu Peninsula for a weekend of camping, sightseeing and beer drinking at the third anniversary of the opening of the Baird Brewery. All of that excitement just within my reach has made it very hard to focus on the work at hand, the work that pays my bills and makes it possible for me to live in Japan.

As for my other work, the one I started this website for…I just can’t seem to get my shit together. Thoughts of dumping an entire short story collection in the trash had literally crossed my mind this week. I know that writers have done this many times, scrapped entire chapters, stories novels. It has taken me far too long to edit and revise just one story in the collection I brainflooded during NaNoWriMo. I know that this is just my usual self-doubt but seriously, why can’t I finish this one damn story?

I shall bury myself this weekend in beer and bbq and hopefully some beach and nature too.