Yesterday, I dropped some money on a couple of writing contests. This is the first time I have done this for a short story. In a previous post, I discussed my thoughts on paying to submit. Today I want to talk about the aftermath of these submissions.

I feel reckless.

In that I feel like I may have wasted money that could have been used for a dinner out. Then I see that statement and realize…yes….it’s ONE dinner out. I can do that for myself.

I feel stupid.

Did I submit the right story? I really didn’t have anything else ready. What if they don’t get it? What if they do? Wouldn’t that be great?

I feel hopeful.

There is a tiny sliver of hope buried under the angst and turmoil. I may have a chance, but then again, I may not.

I just have to keep telling myself… you did your thing. You wrote what you wanted and that’s all that really matters. If this story doesn’t place, there will always be another home for it somewhere else. And all I lost was one dinner out.